Stop what you’re doing and ask yourself a question. Ask yourself a multitude of questions. Questions that pertain to how you truly feel inside. How do you view yourself? Sometimes those types of questions can be the most difficult. Whether it is because you don’t have any idea who you truly are or you’re afraid to say what you might think about yourself. Try and think about what others view you as; how do the closest people in your life view your actions and your words? If you have the slightest bit of hesitation in that answer then it is time to make a change. There is something about yourself that you know you need to work on, something that you know you want to change. Sometimes changing can be hard because you’re afraid to. You may be scared of the thought that if you make a change then it will mean letting go of some things in your life, or possibly creating entirely new beginnings for yourself. For most, that can be intimidating. To not know how something will turn out if you do something new and improved for yourself. But isn’t that the exciting part of it all? You don’t know what or who will walk your way tomorrow, all you can know for sure is the moment that you’re in right now. And you must make the best of that moment and every moment that follows.
Life can be terrifying. People can be cruel. Thinking about a career can be nerve-racking. Relationships can be hurtful. With all of these things that come at you in negative ways or in ways that test you, you have to remember who you are. That’s why asking yourself who you are is so important. The instant that you lose who that person is; that is when nothing in your life will seem right. Nothing in your life will flow like you think that it should. You’ll start to question everything that is happening to you. You’ll start to say and do things that you’ll one day look back on and tear up to the thought of you going through with something that you know is not you. You may hurt the people closest to you; say things you don’t mean, do things you end up regretting. Relationships with friends and loved ones are tested. If you don’t love yourself, you won’t be able to relay any bit of love to anyone else. Love has to start from within. Searching for that word we call “love” can be detrimental if you can’t figure out what loving yourself means first. Sometimes you can lose yourself so far gone that you can hear those exact same words hundreds of times from the same people and it just goes in one ear and out the other. Not that you mean to on purpose, but only because you’re in such a battle with yourself that you can’t seem to allow anyone else to have an influence on your decisions and thoughts. It is so much easier to have anger or madness toward someone else than to face your own actions and take judgement upon those. Before you know it, weeks go by, months go by, and you’ve dug yourself into a hole so deep you don’t know where to begin on how to crawl out. If you ask for a shovel, someone that cares about you will give it to you. Seeking attention from someone that isn’t paying you any mind will only kick more dirt into the hole, still leaving you down in that hole. Don’t try to dig your way out, because you’re only going to make the hole bigger and messier than it already was. Asking for help, asking for advice, and finally meaning it to yourself that you know it all starts with you. You have to want that help, you have to want to actually take that advice in and use it, you have to learn to face what it is that is pulling you away from the dear person you in your heart to be there. It may just take some help to bring that person back to the light.
Learn from your mistakes. That line seems so cliché right? It is used too many times to even count, and by people who don’t actually think about what that means. My thoughts on what learning means would be taking in information that will stick in your brain that will teach you something new that you didn’t already know. Learning from your mistakes then should obviously mean that you’ll pertain something about your mistake that will make you not repeat it. You have to mean it in your heart that you really learned from it. That line can go hand in hand with many different situations; sports, raising little kids, math problems, and my favorite is learning from mistakes made toward yourself. Having the mistake of not truly putting yourself first in some situations. Always wanting to make everyone else happy around you and forgetting about your own happiness is a mistake that acts as a disease. It will start in a mild form and before you know it, every waking action you take and do will be taken over with the goal to make someone or everyone happy. It’s like a rigorous spread of cancer that keeps getting worse and worse until you do something about it. You’d be surprised on how much better you feel when you do something to makes you happy, doing something that helps yourself grow mentally, physically, or emotionally. You have to love yourself enough to appreciate doing things that you so freely do for others. That doesn’t mean that you’re this stuck-up person, it means that you want to simply receive as much as you give. Seeking that in the form of love from someone else can make you fall right back into that hole if you allow it to take over too much. You won’t find love in every place you want it to be, not even half the time. Certain people and certain things in your life happen for a specific reason. Someone unexpectedly can walk into your life and be the best thing that has ever happened to you or someone can walk into your life and do the exact opposite. You never know what you’ll get sometimes, but without loving yourself, nobody else will want to invest time into loving you if you can’t invest some time for you too.
So, who are you really?